Skip navigation

Feelings come, feelings go. I feel sad and worried for the people of Japan and Libya, suffering from natural disasters and war. I have friends struggling with confusing diseases that cause much emotional pain. Sometimes I have vague feelings of discomfort that have no discernible cause. Why? I don’t know. Especially in a weekend that has also been filled with so much joy, sunshine, stimulating music, laughter with family, the comfort of our spiritual community.

What do I do about feelings? I try to let myself feel them, at least briefly, stop and look at them, name them. Is this sadness or anger at my helplessness to stop an earthquake or civil war or disease? Am I rebelling against my powerlessness rather than accepting it? Disliking the “daylight savings” time change? Tired?

Whatever the cause, even something so simple as a routine change, I can’t afford to wallow in any negative feeling for long. If I feed it, it will grow. So, I look to tools that gently change my mood and attitude and bring me back to going with the flow of nature and life. Meditating, allowing my mind to expand, enlarge, become as big as the sky, as vast and endless as all of life. Resting with the many realities of life, as my feelings about events and people change and flow.

Am I such a creature of habit, with need for large spaces of “alone” time and feeling I am “controlling” my day, my routine? I guess so. Age does that, they say. Most of my weekdays have much alone time, much silence, time to meditate, write, exercise, work and meet one on one with suffering people. But the weekend was really all good, a very full, happy time, even with the distant and terrible physical and political events in the world. I was immersed in two high priorities of my life – family and sangha. That is the mystery to me – how anyone could feel discontent, even for a short time, having the wonderful life I have, the beautiful people I love.

I just had to consciously look at my feelings and attitudes and change them to a mode of acceptance and openness, allowing the many events to flow, allowing myself to be carried happily on the river of life. Then I enjoyed each moment thoroughly. I could be present to my precious loved ones and to myself.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: